I caught Big Fat Harry brawling in the street with a neighbor's cat. This happened Wednesday morning as I was leaving for work. I leave the house in the morning around 6:10 - 6:15 and this time of year it is still dark out.
We live in a development and our street is the only way in or out. The speed limit is 25 MPH, but most of the folks who live further back don't seem to think it applies to them and fly down the road. I live 7 houses away from the entrance, so my journey to get out is not long. Wednesday morning I pulled out of the driveway and got halfway to the entrance when I noticed movement in the street. At first I thought it was two rabbits making their way across the street, but realized it was two cats fighting. I stopped and both of them turned and looked at me.
Imagine my horror when I realized one of the fighters highlighted by my headlights was Harry. WTF??!?!?!
Really? Harry? WTF?? And they didn't move. I had to honk my horn to get both of them out of that crazy, wild-eyed "I'm gonna kick your furry ass" mode. When I honked they both headed back to their respective sides of the street.
I have never seen Harry venture further than one house on either side of us, and he has certainly never crossed the road. He's too fat and lazy for that. But there he was, smackdab in the middle of the road brawling with Chloe. Chloe lives 5 houses down across the street. According to Cindy (who is not only my neighbor - 6 houses down - but also my co-worker) Chloe is a terror who is always coming into Cindy's yard to taunt Cindy's Tigerlily.
My theory is Harry was minding his own business in our yard, doing his morning thing (you know: pooping, peeing, sniffing anything and everything) when Chloe came looking for trouble. Well she found it. Harry may be fat and lazy, but he does not back down. I've seen him stare down gnarly looking feral tomcats (which there are several around here) and the tomcats run. I've mentioned before he is grumpy, and I wasn't kidding.
Chloe came into Harry's turf looking to taunt, and Harry chased her back to her yard. Luckily they didn't get squashed by the crazy people who fly down the road. I called Dad later that morning to make sure Harry came home, and when I got home Harry was sleeping on my bed, acting all innocent and saintly.
However I know the truth:
Big Fat Harry - Neighborhood Bad Ass
Thank you Senator Obama, for giving me real hope. Real hope. After 8 years I finally and truly have hope for our nation and our future.
