Not surprised at all
Got a call last Friday from one of my oldest friends. She lives in Tampa, but I first met her right after I graduated from the University of Maryland. Our friendship has spanned well over half my life. We've been roommates three times (both in Maryland and Florida). I've lived through her three marriages (not to mention her two divorces), and various trauma dramas which almost all have belonged to her. She thrives on drama and chaos. I don't.
Even though this latest phone call was supposed to be about me -- it was my birthday after all -- she spent the first hour talking about herself, her latest issues, her this, her that, etc. You get the idea, right?
Her second question after asking how my day was going was "tell me about your Mom".
My mom? WTF? What I wanted to say was "well, she's still dead" but instead the conversation went thusly:
Me: What do you mean?
Her: --very very long pause--
Me: --not saying anything--
Her: --more silence-- then -- Oh my God. I am so sorry. I am such an idiot.
Um, yeah, you're an idiot. You've known me for a very long time. You knew my mom personally, yet you couldn't be bothered to remember for even one day (my freakin' BIRTHDAY) that my mom was gone, that this was my first birthday without her. Again I say WTF!
Sadly, I wasn't surprised and neither was my dad. When I told him he laughed. Actually we both laughed. How sad is it that I have such low expectations for someone who calls me her "best friend"? And fyi -- I haven't referred to her as my BFF in about 10 years. No wonder, huh?
posted by yvonne at Friday, August 17, 2007
11 Comments:
*hugs* I'm sorry, Augie. Even though you weren't surprised, it still must have been very disappointing. *smooch*
This won't stop you from going to Tampa and stalking my pretend husband, will it? Because, I mean, it's all about me. Right? *giggle*
And? Enjoy your day off today. I'm gellus.
*hugs* I'm sorry too Augie.
Like the blonde said, even though you weren't suprrised it had to hurt. *smooch*
Thanks girls. It was disappointing, but not surprising. *shakes head*
Bravie? I still have wonderful friends in Tampa who did remember my loss this year and have been very supportive, so no worries that I will never go back to stalk your pretend husband. :-)
*HUGS* Agree with the others that it must have hurt. She doesn't deserve your friendship. *smooch*
It really sucks to be disappointed by friends. No matter how much it may not surprise us, it still hurts. So we just have to focus our energy on those of us around us who don't always disappoint. So remember your friends who have not forgotten and who have been supportive. And the next time this friend calls, act as if you don't know who she is. "Who is this again? I don't recognize your voice." *grin*
Just ask her how her husband is and refer to him by the name of husband # 1.
*hugs*
We were at a party this weekend with a couple who didn't know that Kristin had died (our friend Ryan's wife).
Oh girl, that sucks! I'm right there with you on lousy best friends. My 'best friend" since HS (that's 19+ years) is getting married in April of '08. She asked me to be a bridesmaid and I accepted.
Later, she told me that the dresses were gonna be low cut (yay, I get to show off my lovely cleavage!), spaghetti strapped (ohhh, there's a possibility my boobs will break said straps and then the party REALLY starts!), and will show off my tats (woot, a wedding AND an art gallery all at once!) so she took back my invite and told em that she already had someone else who'd look better in the dresses she picked out, but she still wants me to come!!! WTF?
So, do I still go to the wedding? Do I end our long friendship? Do I allow this to hurt me and say nothing? Help?
Asrai, my mouth has fallen open. I cannot believe what I am reading. I will go to your blog to respond. *hugs*
OMG, that girl is NOT your friend. I would not go. I wouldn't continue to be her friend. I would let us beat her up for you. *kicks bride-to-be*
LMAO @ Auggie and Kim! ((hugs friends))
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